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5 Things That Tell You She is NOT The One

  1. Her Accent
oh my god

oh my god

The one glorious thing about accents is that you can sniff a fake one from a mile away. The warning bells in the head start going off the moment a woman with a borrowed accent opens her mouth. This is a very widespread disease in Nairobi; I have never been able to put a finger on the birthplace of this funny accent that almost every Nairobi female uses. It’s an accent that has a touch of British nasal melody, American tweng and a mixture of daddy issues, bad decisions and deluded fantasies. Could it be the plethora of TV series that  flood into the country every day? Bottom line is, a woman who can fake an accent will fake up anything to ensure her fantasies come to fruition; you don’t want to wake up to that every morning. Trust me. If she doesn’t hide her struggle with her ‘L’s and ‘R’s she is genuine because she has accepted her little harmless handicaps.

2. Her Clique

cliqueShow me your friends and I will tell you what type of person you are. Observing a woman will tell you half the story, observing her friends will give you the other half together with other surprises you would never have found out. Like a school of fish, women move around with their friends. These circles are what enable them to indulge in their little guilty pleasures. She might cover up all her sins with an air of unassuming dexterity but you can always count on her friends to drop a hint or two or unconsciously let loose a little secret. You see, it is from these circles that women pick their habits; habits that later grow to become second to their nature. So if you keep getting red flags from her circle, the best thing you should do is look away. Letting such a woman in is opening doors to all her demons too.

  1. Her Social Media Profile


Social Media is a curse and a blessing combined. It has given people the chance to lead double lives that are parallel to each other, but most often than not, these two lives always end up colliding, and that’s where things get interesting.

Vanity is every woman’s favorite sin. A little bit of vanity never hurt anyone, but when it reaches a toxic level, that is when it becomes an issue. A little visit to her social media profiles can give you priceless insight into how her brain works. It can tell you whether she lives for the attention and approval of others or whether she is doing all this for self-love and appreciation. If her world is fuelled by constant validation from strangers, then you have yourself a ticking time bomb seconds away from exploding. This is the type of woman who will bleed you dry just to compete with her neighbour. When image becomes her everything, you will end up losing your everything. Keep these ones at a mile’s length, minimum distance.

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Eugene Kaana is a resident contributor at Apart from writing, he also runs Sky Lens Media, a professional photography company. 

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1 Comment on 5 Things That Tell You She is NOT The One

  1. 0


    the article is hilarious…haha…

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