#3. Spend Money on Her
Shopping, and in extension spending money on a girl is the most fool proof panty-dropping tactic of all. It’s really simple; you manipulate her feelings with money. Every Kenyan lady loves money. Ok, who doesn’t love money? Luckily, they can’t love your money without loving you. To them, you are a source of income, a sponsor who’s still as young as her. You must therefore be ready to expend some resources with the off chance you’ll get past second base before your accounts dry up. You have to buy her stuff, no matter how stupid.
What this means is you have to buy her pizza, and other fancy foods in her choice of overrated restaurants. You have to get her tickets to the nice events in town, no matter how costly. In the club all her drinks are on your tab, even though she drinks a whole crate. You have to call her an Uber, even though you have to put up with a sweaty konda as you take a matatu home. And let’s not forget the monthly trip out of town. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to wipe all traces of the Uliza kiatu song from your phone, iPod, laptop or any other music-playing electronics.
#2. Like Her Photos on Instagram and Facebook
When you get into a relationship with a lady, you are dating a package. That means herself, her job, her kid(s) if she has any, and more importantly her Instagram account. The Instagram account has established itself as an important pillar in the life of a woman, and must be oiled and greased with the same care as all the other parts of the female person. It is your duty as a man to make sure her Instagram account is always busy and exciting.
As soon as you establish yourself as her boyfriend, prepare yourself for the Instagram craze. You’ll like her pictures and shower her with sweet nothings in the comments section. You’ll parade pictures of you two holding hands or doing a chore together, while subtextually portraying it as the model relationship, at which her virtual clique will go ‘Awww’ or ‘Goals’. You’ll parade all your assets as hers too; your car, your bike, your TV, your house et cetera. Everything you two do will end up on the gram, and it’s your job to meet every post with enthusiasm and to ensure she gets the most likes.
#1. Give Her Attention
Lastly, you have to give your lady as much attention as is necessary. Once you have done all the above, this last one will decide whether your past efforts are forgotten or remain imprinted in her memory. That means you’ll have to at least pretend to think of her all the time. You’ll have to invent new and exciting ways to make her happy.
This means saying missing football or gaming with the guys, as you have to take her to the Salon on weekends. You’ll have to open car doors for her, pull seats for her, carry her handbag, call to ask if she got home safe, text her goodnight, make her the subject of your Whatsapp status; every action that defines the word chivalry. You’ll have to love her shows, show interest in her cumbersome gossip, listen to her music and watch her movies. You have to make everything about her. This is your last chance, so you have to do it right.
We’ll stop there, if this tactics work for you, come back and give us your testimony. If they don’t, also come back and check out how to brush up your dating skills. If you are already there, complete the poll below. HAPPY VALENTINES.
If you loved this story, you can read other great stories written by the same guy, 5 Hilarious Reasons Why Kenyans Hate Going To The Village and 6 Peculiar Things Kenyans Do In church
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Robert Mayore is a resident contributor at Rasqoh.com. Currently, he is winding up his computer science degree. He is also the social media administrator here at Rasqoh.com.