The LOVE season is here. Red is the color of the month, because everyone is bleeding love. But really, Kenyan ladies are a tough crowd to please. Every man has at one time attempted this impossible task, with the hope of getting laid or even getting love. Some have succeeded, but others have ended up being unceremoniously tossed into the little forsaken piece of hell labelled Friendzone. We already told you how to know if she is the one and why you are still single. Out of pity for our brothers in the Friendzone, we have now decided to rescue menfolk by iterating 5 sure things you can do to please a Kenyan lady. Hopefully, this will not push you deeper into Brozone, which is an even worse zone than Friendzone.
#5. Compliment Her
When ladies start a statement with ‘A real man should..’ and go on to describe a hybrid of Superman and a unicorn, they sooner or later highlight the one thing that can brighten even the gloomiest of days, compliments. This is the ultimate hack into the female heart.
They say a woman’s beauty depends on how drunk you are, but compliment her nevertheless. A Kenyan Lady loves being told she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Tell her the dress is beautiful, even if it’s so bad it won’t make it as your kitchen mop. Tell her the eyebrows look nice, even if your thumb is itching to wipe out the gory scene staring at you. Tell her the hair-style is bomb, even though a poor lass in Brazil is walking bald so that she could have the hair. Tell her she’s a good girl, even though her morals are borderline prostitution; teetering on slut. You can never get tired of doing it. Make sure you exhaust all the good adjectives. Point is, you are a man one step closer to getting laid. In those moments when you praise her, she gets a gush of micro-orgasms that warm both her heart and her loins. Then you can swoop in and finish the job
#4. Appreciate Her Cooking
They say nowadays Kenyan ladies drink like their fathers instead of cooking like their mothers, and they couldn’t be more right. We live in a time where ladies survive on pizza, plus it’s accompanying Instagram likes. Today’s urban lady gets all her food in hotels and fast-food joints; as a result, she can’t hold her own in the kitchen. Coupled with either laziness and overwhelming work schedule, the little cooking skills she has fade away and become extinct altogether.
When you can’t eat out anymore and she finally decides to cook for you, she is bound to cook terrible food. But as a man, it is your sworn duty to tell her you couldn’t survive without her food. When she cooks waru and cabbages for the 8th consecutive time, tell her you are now addicted to waru and cabbages. In fact, tell her you skipped nyam chom with the boys so that you can eat her waru and cabbages. Until such a time that you get laid or she improves her cooking, train your digestive system to adapt, because you are not there to judge her upbringing, you are a man on a mission.