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5 Crazy Quotes by President Uhuru Kenyatta

3. Let’s Wait For Some Six Fellas to Rule

judges of kenya supreme court
Some six people or is it seven?

Of the four arms of government, Uhuru Kenyatta only enjoys cordial relations with the legislature and the executive, which he heads anyway. It is not difficult to see why President Kenyatta loves parliament. The legislature is his lapdog. On the other hand, the judiciary and the media do not see eye to eye with the president on many issues. The judiciary has openly shown disdain for the executive, but really, the feeling is mutual; the president on his part has frustrated the judicial arm at every turn. The openly hostile relationship between the executive and the judiciary was in evidence as soon as Uhuru Kenyatta was elected president. While the rest of the country was waiting for the Supreme Court to rule on the validity of the presidential election, this is what the president-elect had to say about the impending ruling, ‘I look forward sincerely to working with you once some six people decide something…we are ready once they decide.” Eventually the ruling was made in Kenyatta’s favor but the six fellas and the entire judiciary has continued to be a thorn in Jubilee’s ass.

2. Dark Forces Arm-Twisted Me

uhuru and mudavadi
They didn’t live ‘happily ever after’

In December 2012, Uhuru was a troubled man. Under immense pressure from Kibaki’s henchmen not to vie for presidency, he signed a deal with Musalia Mudavadi, effectively forfeiting his right to vie. As soon as the deal was signed, his TNA cheerleaders expressed outraged and begun piling intense pressure on their man to renege on the deal. Under pressure from both sides, Uhuru finally cracked and blamed the devil “You saw us showcase our unity at the Afraha in Nakuru but thereafter a devil who does not know where we started, came saying that if we continued in our quest Kenya would not get foreign aid; we will not sell our tea abroad, that we will cause war in Kenya. So I decided that instead of involving Ruto in it ( I would make) the decision myself because I did not know what he would tell his people.” Thereafter, he shredded the deal with Mudavadi and successfully vied for presidency. You can never trust any politician.

 1. Gazeti Ni Ya Kufunga Nyama

Being Deputy President is hard. Even your boss snitches on you

Unlike our old buddy Kibaki who never gave a hoot about what the whole nation thought or dsaid about him, president Kenyatta worries a great deal about how the media portrays him and his sometimes inept government. The relationship between the presidency and the media is really complicated.

One unwritten rule about family life is that you never publicly criticize businesses your family engages in. If your dad is a bus conductor, you can’t go around badmouthing bus conductors. That is precisely what Uhuru did. In May this year, the People Daily wrote a sensational story about how Deputy President, William Ruto, had done what he does best i.e. get into  another scandal. The president was stung; and livid. Now, remember that the People Daily is whole owned by the Kenyatta’s. Incidentally, a day after the People Daily broke the story, the president travelled to Ruto’s Rift Valley heartland. He had to say something to appease a vexed deputy president. So he blurted, “Gazeti ni ya kufunga nyama.” And just like that, a whole multitude of people working in media were moved from the information-communication sector to the meat processing industry. Anyway, Kenyatta has always had a dodgy relationship with the media, including his family-run media house.

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