Okay, first things first, let’s just get this out of the way, I’m a Creep. And I own it. Sometimes I just like to go to the club all by myself, order a double of the cheapest Whiskey there is, sit at the corner and watch everyone else. It works like some sort of therapy to me. I don’t know what it is, but in that couple or so hours that I sit there and observe y’all ratchet asses grinding to house music, I sort of feel calmer. I get to think about myself and my life in general. I have made some of my best decisions in that state, and some of my worst too. Like deciding to date that UoN blonde; that’s something you never recover from; ever. Most importantly, I learn about women. You’d be surprised how much you can learn about a person by just watching them from a distance. Knowledge that I’m about to impart to you now; for Free.! Can a man ever be more generous? Now get me beer, will you?
4. Ladies That Dance Too Much But Have No Drink In Hand
There are ladies that start dancing from the moment they walk into a club till dawn; Ladies that just never get tired of grinding their tiny sore behinds onto some thirsty sweaty stranger; Ladies that are willing to be lifted high up in the air and their legs parted and their derrieres spanked and rubbed against anything and everything; loins, knees, faces et al.
These are broke ladies simply looking for someone to buy them a drink. And I have come to realize that men can be such fools when they decide. We once let this odiero at G-Skyye Lounge in Westlands dance with one of the ladies from our table because he was persistent and it was either that or me punching him in the face. Next thing we know, the chic comes back with a six-pack of Guarana. The things men do for a simple dance, just five minutes of humping, and you wonder why women call us dogs.
3. Ladies That Can’t Settle On What To Drink
I like a lady that knows her drink, and takes it with poise. I don’t like a lady that, in one night, samples everything on the shelf. Have you ever met a lady who, for the first round, orders a couple of beers? Then wants vodka in the next round, then whiskey, then all of a sudden she decides she also wants wine. Like, chic, make up your goddamn mind. These are those types of women that spend hours on end in the closet trying to figure out which dress to wear on a night out even when there are only two set of clothes in the closet.A lady that drinks everything is what you would call a guzzler. Yaani those ones that will only drain your pockets dry and at the end of the night, they won’t even be drunk enough to drop ‘em [I’ve always wanted to say that] pants yet.